i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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