Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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