You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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