I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
