theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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