god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I want her autograph on my taint
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos