so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
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Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
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The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.