ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i think my cat just said my name.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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