Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
