Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize