Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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