you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You've changed since you got that strap on
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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