Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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