i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
