What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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