Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
