I can tuck mytits in my pants
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
