just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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