Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
