No stitches, just platelets and will power
Ketchup is God's man juice
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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