Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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