Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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