if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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