i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
