As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
