Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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