I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
It's blow job season.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When are your genitals available?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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