Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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