Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
