I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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