She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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