How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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