his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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