I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
