Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
