yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
