Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
