I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
