dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
