OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
