all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
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why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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