My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
