We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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