Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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