but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
