Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
