This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
