I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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