i'm home, then i'll come over
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
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She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.