The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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