remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
