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Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
