i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
