I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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