I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
