I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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