Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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