You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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